Due to past trauma and experiences, we may deem certain aspects or parts of ourselves as "unacceptable," "unworthy," or even "unlovable." Healing happens, recovery happens, when we invite deep love and self-acceptance into even our most vulnerable, dysregulated, and wounded states. Growing up, I didn't feel safe to express sickness, discomfort, or emotional distress. Any one of these symptoms would trigger overwhelm and overstimulation in my caregivers, and potentially lead to my emotional or physical harm.
From a young age, I determined that these symptoms were “wrong” and even “dangerous” and that they should be suppressed, or (if possible) bypassed completely. To this day, I sometimes still struggle with accepting these symptoms when they arise. Understanding our “shame triggers” can offer us powerful insight that helps us to remain both present, and also self-compassionate. When I notice that my physiology is assigning meaning to a specific state or symptom, I have the opportunity to reverse-engineer the “meaning” I have assigned, and create new neural pathways for myself. What do I mean by, “assigning meaning?” Our physiology is designed to help us navigate the world and our experiences in a way that mitigates risk and promotes survival.
The body is incredibly attentive, and works hard to keep us safe from future threats. It is a master at noticing patterns, and utilizes these patterns to find the nexus of every ailment, thus, employing “predictions” in the form of thoughts, sensations, and symptoms when it discovers a potential link. In the words of one of my somatic mentors…if something is red like an apple, round like an apple, and smells like an apple, the alarm will sound that it is indeed an apple! However, this “assigned meaning” is not always completely accurate. It may be an apple-scented candle, or an apple-shaped perfume.
When I experience symptoms of sickness, or am otherwise vulnerable, my very intuitive body, in a bid to protect me, may assign meaning that I am unsafe. It may also assign the meaning that I am doing something “bad” or “wrong" based on this physiological "predictive programming" that exists for my survival. Instead of feeling anger or shame around this response, we have a special opportunity to be inquisitive, instead. This is an important part of the process, because it allows us to reparent our inner child, as well. We call the shots, this time...and we don't have to live in fear.
It is important to discern that our bodies intuition isn’t necessarily wrong, because it is only going off of the information and resourcing capability that is has available at any present time. When we choose to get curious about our symptoms (and the feelings that accompany them) we are refining that intuition with new and updated information, which offers the body a wider spectrum for future communications and support.
Additionally, when we choose to be curious and release the “story” of trauma and pain that has been assigned, this newfound freedom allows us space to move into the new pathways that are being formed via presence, mindfulness, self-acceptance, self-compassion, and self-love. We establish safety within the body when we learn to, first and foremost, feel safe with ourselves and our responses to the needs and messages the body is sending us.
Radical acceptance of ourselves, in turn, has a powerful ripple-effect on the rest of the body and nervous system and acts as a gateway to deeper, lasting healing!